Hello everyone, This is my very first post. A place where i can share inspiration quotes and find support when it is need and head out for some much needed vacation. I love this place and plan to keep up with emails through, so don’t hesitate to contact. Kenneth Lantang
10 Easy ways to gain more confidence
1. Buck up, sister!
2. Sit with Your Thoughts
Andrew Appel, creative director for Beyond Success Consulting, says it’s easy to gain confidence. Sometimes it’s as simple as daily silence and meditation. “Find a technique that works for you,” he says. “Take some time each day to quiet your mind and senses so that you can develop more control over your thoughts and interactions.” Sitting with your thoughts will help you gain clarity — that way, you won’t be so stir-crazed and your self-esteem will rise.
3. Find Yourself
Knowing who you are and what you stand for can also help give you more confidence. “Identify your unique creative expression,” Appel suggests. “Ask yourself, are you working in a job that truly represents what you feel you are here to do in this world?” If not, perhaps it’s time to start thinking about how you could move towards your true passions in life, Appel points out.
4. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
As you focus on the passion in your life — the things that inspire you and give you happiness — it’s also important to stay focused on you, says Lloyd Princeton, a motivational speaker, business coach and author of Marketing Interior Design. “Do not compare yourself to other people,” he adds. “Set the bar for yourself based on your abilities and desires and constantly strive to improve based on that bar.”
5. role play
“One can also literally work on non-verbal behaviors, such as body posturing, facial expression and eye contact in order to improve the feeling of confidence,” Rego says. He often instructs his patients to take a confident walk around town, using the non-verbal behaviors mentioned, and see how they feel and how people respond to them, compared to how they normally would walk around. “I also have them imagine someone they already see as confident, and act like that person for an hour or so, and then see the results.” It’s like practice!
6. stand tall
“Stand straight. Shoulders back. Head up,” instructs Pamela Gilchrist, author, speaker and president of Gilchrist Group, an international award-winning business and communications firm. “This immediately increases your presence in any setting.” Gilchrist also reminds people not to shuffle or slouch. “Walk and sit with authority. If others think you have it, you do.”
7. Never Look Down on Yourself
“Eliminate negative self-talk,” Gilchrist stresses. “Replace with themes such as, ‘I am good enough, I am successful, I am loved.’ Gilchrist recommends reading Melody Beattie’s book, The Language of Letting Go. If you believe in yourself, others will, too.
8. Calm Yourself
UCLA psychiatrist and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Judith Orloff stresses you should calm down your stress hormones in order to stay confident. “Eliminate or avoid people and situations that induce the stress response in your body, which speeds up your pulse and mimics the feeling of fear, lowering your confidence,” she suggests. “These include caffeine, sugar and other stimulants, as well as emotional vampires or people who drain your energy and make you tense to be around, traffic jams and arguments.” Keep the negativity out of the way and your positive energy will radiate.
9. Hypnotize Yourself
OK, that sounds a little strange, but Michael Ellner, a certified medical hypnotherapist, believes it will work. “Self-hypnosis is easily learned, rapidly effective, and, once learned, is always available for use,” Ellner says. “Imagine a slice of lemon; see it, smell it and imagine picking it up and hearing yourself tasting it — I bet your imaginings produced a sour taste and digestive juices. In the same way you can easily learn how to use your memories of soothing sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches to signal your mind and brain to produce a sense of ease and confidence.” All you have to do is imagine and/or remember the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches that are associated with a past experience in which you were feeling at ease and very self-assured. “Apply those feelings of ease and confidence to new social situations by simply thinking, ‘This is going to be fun,'” Ellner instructs.
10. Let Go
“After all this is said and done, let go and trust life’s process,” Appel advises. “Life is what is happening while you are making other plans. Things will never unfold exactly as you intend, so be willing to be flexible and adapt to changes and circumstances as they come about.” Your ability to go with the flow and be comfortable with changes will give you more confidence, too.
It’s as easy as that. Gilchrist urges, confidence comes from within — loving yourself will give your personality the wow factor. Okay, so don’t be overly confident and love yourself so much that you become a narcissist. Keep it to a healthy minimum. “Know that you are worthy, special and one of a kind,” she concludes.
30 Ways To Learn To Love Yourself And Be Happy With The World
Many people (including me) speak about “self-love”: figure yourself out, love yourself before you get into a relationship… and so it goes.
However, you only truly obtain self-love by having compassion for the self, so you can appreciate and do considerate deeds for others.
Along my path to learn about myself and work on my own self-love, I discovered several major truths that still resonate with me and support my personal effort.
I am a constant work in progress, as most of us are. To help you gain more perspective and have a foundation on which to begin your journey of self-love, here are 30 truths to remember:
1. Stop comparing yourself to others. People achieve success and fail at different rates.
2. You’re not as fat as you think. Besides, your body fat percentage has no bearing on what makes you a quality human being.
3. Exercise because it is good for your soul and not solely for your outward experience. Appreciate your body and all the things it can do. Stop picking it apart — you will never achieve perfection.
4. Find something at which you excel. Maybe you are really amazing at working with kids and you just don’t know it yet.
5. Spend more time with your girlfriends or guy friends. Relationships may come and go, but friends are forever — cherish that.
6. Spend time alone. It’s okay if you want to stay home on a Friday night, catch up on your DVR and eat froyo because you’ve had an exhausting workweek.
7. Read that book you’ve been meaning to read. In fact, read as many books as possible. Reading expands the imagination and sharpens the mind.
8. Spend time outside. Discover a new trail or a mountain to hike. Soak up the sun.
9. Take a lot of pictures. Take way too many and don’t forget to print them. Don’t let them just sit in your phone memory.
10. Let go of the past. Forgive the people who hurt you so that YOU can move on. Carrying around anger only poisons you.
11. Reunite with old friends from high school, college and your past in general. Let go of friendships that no longer serve you. People grow apart; it’s natural and it’s okay.
12. Call your friends and family more often; don’t just follow them on social media. Remember when we used to have to call or meet up with people to hear their voices? That experience is so much richer.
13. Resolve the issues you might have with your family. Tell them you love them. Show up to family events and don’t have something better to do.
14. Take vitamins because you want to be the healthiest version of yourself. Unless you want to be cranky and lethargic all day, make sure you get enough iron.
15. Treat yourself to something you want but don’t need. Whether it’s a fancy designer purse you’ve been eyeing for years or a plane ticket to the destination of your dreams, remember how fine the line between saving and living is. Toe it.
16. Care about your appearance — not in a vain, superficial way. Care about how you look, so you can feel great when you leave the house. But, if you feel like wearing sweatpants and your hair in a bun to the grocery store once in a while, go f*cking do it.
17. Watch that movie or that Netflix series you’ve been meaning to see.
18. Be active. Exercising regularly releases endorphins and contributes to your level of happiness and will help you feel better about yourself.
19. Pick up a hobby. My roommates and I ordered paint-by-numbers from Amazon. It made me feel creative and allowed for some roommate bonding time.
20. Save up money and travel somewhere new. Try the sunrise at the top of Mount Haleakala in Maui. You will literally feel like you are in heaven.
21. Laugh at yourself. If you trip over your feet or realize your shirt is on inside out, don’t worry about it and make it a joke.
22. Do karaoke. Do it sober. Do it drunk. Sing. I read somewhere that the more you sing, the happier and healthier it will make you.
23. Eat less processed food. If you actually knew what was in that sh*t, you would be disgusted. Watch the documentary “Food Inc.” But, if you want to have fries, with extra, extra ranch sometimes, do it.
24. Dance. Freak Dance. Weird Dance. Make up a dance routine with your friends like you did when you were 12. Stop caring about what you look like. Have fun.
25. Smile more. The more you smile, the happier you will feel. It makes others happier, too — trust me.
26. Do favors and don’t expect anything in return from the kindness in your heart.
27. Guard your heart, but be open. Don’t let people take advantage of you.
28. Be less judgmental. “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
29. Look up at the sky. Realize that sunsets are gorgeous. Look at the stars, as they’re pretty incredible, too.
30. You will never be able to please everyone. Not everyone will like you. You won’t like everyone you meet. That’s perfectly fine also.
Love yourself. Enjoy the life you have been given, and embrace each day with open arms as the best version of you.
Always remember this quote by Buddha:
In one of my recent articles on MindBodyGreen, some of the commenters asked me how to go about loving yourself. They especially wanted to know what the specifics are, since it’s so easy to tell someone, “Love yourself,” and much more difficult to describe how to do it.
Inner bonding is a powerful six-step self-healing process that offers a road map for learning to love yourself. Learning and practicing these six steps will gradually result in loving yourself rather than continuing to abandon yourself.
The Six Steps Of Inner Bonding:
1. Be willing to feel pain and take responsibility for your feelings.
All feelings are informational, letting us know whether we’re loving ourselves or abandoning ourselves, or if others are being loving or controlling.
Step one is mindfully following your breath to get present in your body, and compassionately embracing all feelings. It’s about moving toward your feelings rather than away from them with various forms of self-abandonment, such as staying focused in your head, judging yourself, turning to addictions to numb out, or making someone else responsible for your feelings.
2. Move into the intent to learn.
In inner bonding, there are only two possible intentions in any given moment:
- To protect against pain, avoiding responsibility for it, through various forms of addictive and controlling behavior.
- To learn about what you’re doing or thinking that may be causing your pain — or what may be happening between you and another person or situation — so that you can move into taking loving action in your own behalf.
Invite the loving presence of your higher self into your heart, and consciously open to learning about loving yourself.
3. Learn about your false beliefs.
Step three is a deep and compassionate process of exploration — of learning about your beliefs and behavior, and about what is happening with a person or situation that may be causing your pain.
Ask your feeling self — your inner child — “What am I thinking or doing that’s causing the painful feelings of anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, jealousy, anger, loneliness or emptiness?” Allow the answer to come from inside — from your feelings.
Once you understand what you’re thinking or doing that’s causing these feelings, then you explore with your ego-wounded self to understand the fears and false beliefs leading to the self-abandoning thoughts and actions.
If you feel lonely, heartbroken, or helpless over someone, you ask yourself what is happening between you and another person that is causing these painful feelings.
4. Dialogue with your higher self.
It isn’t as hard to connect with your higher guidance as you may think. The key is to be open to learning about loving yourself. The answers may come immediately or over time. They may come in words or images or in dreams. When your heart is open to learning, the answers will come.
5. Take the loving action learned in step four.
You’ve opened up to your pain, moved into learning, started a dialogue with your feelings, and tapped into your spiritual guidance. In step five, you take the loving action that, over time, heals the shame, anxiety and depression that have been the result of your self-abandonment.
Sometimes people think of “loving yourself” as a feeling you have to conjure up. A good way to look at loving yourself is by emphasizing the action, “What can I DO to love myself?” rather than “How can I FEEL love for myself?”
6. Evaluate your action.
Once you take the loving action, you check in to see if your pain, anger and shame are getting healed. If not, you go back through the steps until you discover the truth and loving actions that bring you peace, joy, and a deep sense of intrinsic worth.
Over time, you will discover that loving yourself improves everything in your life — your relationships, your health and well-being, your ability to manifest your dreams, and your self-esteem. Loving and connecting with yourself is the key to being able to love and connect with others and create loving relationships. Loving yourself is what enables you to raise your frequency and co-create with spirit. Loving yourself is the key to creating a passionate, fulfilled and joyful life
The universalists repeatedly say things like, “God loves us all so much that He will save us all”; or “He hates the sin, but loves the sinner”; or “God is love, and will not send anyone to hell.”
Universalists teach that God is so full of love that He simply cannot send anyone to eternal hellfire. It is against His infinite love. They want God to forgive all, even those who openly reject Him and die cursing God.
I must admit, it is nice to think of God’s love being so infinitely great that all will ultimately be saved. Hell is a terrible place, and I don’t want anyone to go there. But it does not matter what I think. It matters what the Bible says.
God is love (1 John 4:8), but God also punishes the sinner and hates all who do iniquity. God is not one-sided. He is not simply an infinitely loving God. He is also infinitely just. He must deal with sin. He must punish the sinner.
In the truth of God’s word, we find that the Lord has provided one way by which we may be saved. That single way is through Jesus’ sacrifice. For all who trust in Him, salvation will come. But to those who turn away, God’s wrath abides upon them: “He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him,” (John 3:36).
Does God hate anyone?
Does God hate anyone? The answer is yes.
- Psalm 5:5, “The boastful shall not stand before Thine eyes; Thou dost hate all who do iniquity.”
- Psalm 11:5, “The Lord tests the righteous and the wicked, and the one who loves violence His soul hates.”
- Lev. 20:23, “Moreover, you shall not follow the customs of the nation which I shall drive out before you, for they did all these things, and therefore I have abhorred them.”
- Prov. 6:16-19, “There are six things which the Lord hates, yes, seven which are an abomination to Him: 17 Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, 18 A heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run rapidly to evil, 19 A false witness who utters lies, and one who spreads strife among brothers.”
- Hosea 9:15, “All their evil is at Gilgal; indeed, I came to hate them there! Because of the wickedness of their deeds I will drive them out of My house! I will love them no more; All their princes are rebels.”
Are these verses hard to read? Do they make you feel uncomfortable? They should. God hates sin. But, He does not punish sin. He punishes the sinner. Sin cannot be tied up and thrown into a fire. It cannot be put in a box or glued to a stick. It is rebellion. It is rebellion in the heart. It is breaking God’s Law. Sin occurs inside the heart and mind of people. Therefore, God must punish the sinner. Why? Because He is both Holy and Just and the person who sins offends God. God’s Holy and Just character will not allow Him to ignore this offense. Why? . . .
God’s Law is Perfect
When God said, “Let there be light,” it happened. When He commanded that the oceans be, they came into existence. God’s word is powerful. What He says is never futile, empty, or without power.
The Law is a reflection of God’s character. It is pure and perfect. It is powerful. The Ten Commandments reflect God’s holiness and justice. These commandments are not without punishments. A law without consequences is only an empty slogan.
To sin is to break God’s Law and offend His character. To sin means to challenge His character and authority. It means you go against His word. But God is not a liar. His word is true. He has said He will punish the lawbreaker.
But, praise be to God, that while we were yet sinners, Jesus died for us (Rom. 5:6). There is no way we can appease God. That is why God became one of us (John 1:1, 14; Heb. 2:17), to take our place and become sin on our behalf (2 Cor. 5:21). Therefore, people have two options:
- Trust Jesus, God in flesh, as your savior and put your faith in the sacrifice that He made on the cross and in nothing you do.
- Reject the cross and let the penalty of the Law fall upon you.
Either God pays, or you do–forever. Which will it be?
“For if we go on sinning willfully after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins,” (Heb. 10:26). If there is no sacrifice available for you, then God’s wrath abides upon you because He hates sin and your sin is not removed (John 3:36). Trust Jesus alone or the wrath of God will abide upon you forever.
The sobering fact is that God is so holy and righteous that He hates the sinner (Psalm 5:5; Lev. 20:23; Prov. 6:16-19; Hos. 9:15). Some say that we should say that God only hates the sin but loves the sinner. But, the above scriptures speak contrary to that. But it is also true that He is love (1 John 4:8). It is better to accept the love of God found in Jesus than to reject it and suffer His wrath.
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.
Scripture: Roman 12:9. Topic: Truth
It a wonderful thing that, if you believe and teach the straightforward truths of the Bible, you will spare yourself and your children a hundred follies of each new generation. If you want to be useful for your generation, you don’t need to be an expert on the latest philosophical fad, or the latest progressive morality, or the latest psychological trend. A few Christians need to study these things and respond to them. But the great majority of Christians should simply be marching to the beat of another drummer.
What most ordinary Christians need to do is go deep with the Bible and believe and absorb and teach what it means and what it implies in its straightforward statements. If you do that—if you think your way down deep into the warp and woof of the Bible, and let it shape your mind and heart—you will be spared many trendy detours that sound so up-to-date, but end in the destruction of lives.
I think you will see this truth at work if we meditate for today on the second half of Romans 12:9. The whole verse says, “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.” We looked last time at the words, “Let love be genuine [or without hypocrisy].” Today we focus on the words, “Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.” My point is: if you will think and pray and obey your way down into this straightforward exhortation, you (and your children) will be liberated from many of the follies of this age—and every age.
Let’s do this together. I see five things to point out. You may not even be conscious of these things, and yet they can have a powerfully good effect on you. In other words, you don’t have to be an expository preacher to be transformed by the Bible. But it helps to have them pointed out from time to time and may hasten and deepen the transforming power of the text.
1. There Is Such a Thing as Objective Good and Evil Outside Myself
When Paul says, “Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good,” he is rejecting the notion that evil is defined by what I abhor; and he is rejecting the notion that good is defined by what I hold fast to. This is so simple and so obvious. Would you ever think to say this to your children? Maybe. But if you teach them verses like this often enough and deeply enough, they will absorb a whole biblical worldview for their great good.
That is, they will absorb the view that there is such a thing as good and evil, and that good and evil are realities outside of them. The good and the evil don’t depend on us or our children to become good or evil. They are good or evil objectively. Good is not what you want to be good. And evil is not what you want to be evil. Liking something does not make it good and hating something does not make it evil. There is reality out there. And then there is you. That reality is good or evil. You don’t make it good or evil.
How do we see this? Because Paul says, “Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.” In other words, good and evil don’t change, we change. Our hearts can cling to things because we desire them, and our hearts can reject things intensely because we don’t desire them. Paul says, Here is good, and here is evil. Now bring your emotions and your will into conformity to what is objectively there. When you face the objective evil: hate it. And when you face the objective good, embrace it.
Now what makes good good? And what makes evil evil? In other words, how does it come about that there is such a thing as objective good and evil? Well, this verse doesn’t say. But we don’t have to look far for the answer. Verse 2: “Do not be conformed to this world,but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is goodand acceptable and perfect.” The reason there is such a thing as objective good is that there is such a thing as “the will of God.” Or most simply, and most profoundly, the reason there is such a thing as objective good outside ourselves is that there is God outside ourselves. And most concretely and specifically, God has made himself known objectively and historically in Jesus Christ in Scripture.
If there were no God—if there were no Christ—then the good would be subjective, not objective. Good would be in the eye of the beholder, especially the strong beholder. Might would make right. But God does exist. And therefore might does not make right. The good and true and right and beautiful have objective foundation in God, and in his self-revelation, Jesus Christ. Which means that the simplest peasant in Russia or Jew in Germany or slave in Georgia or Christian prisoner in Rome can say to the most powerful Stalin or Hitler or plantation owner or Caesar: “No sir, this is wrong. And all your power does not make it right. There is God above you. And therefore right and wrong have objective reality apart from you.”
Oh, what a gift we give our children when we teach them the simple, straightforward teachings of the Bible. Their implications are vast beyond our knowledge. In this one phrase there is a world of precious truth.
2. Choosing Against Evil and for Good Is Not Enough; Inner Intensity Is Required
Notice Paul’s verbs: “Abhor (apostungountes) what is evil; hold fast (kollömenoi) to what is good.” He did not say “Choose against evil and choose good.” His words are very strong. “Abhor” is a good translation. “Loathe,: “Be disgusted with” (Liddell and Scott Lexicon) would also be correct. “Hold fast to what is good” means embrace it. Love it. The word is used for sexual union in 1 Corinthians 6:16.
In other words, God is not mainly interested in a willpower religion or a willpower morality. Choosing is not enough. It doesn’t signal deep moral transformation. Remember the meaning of hypocrisy—changing the outside with willpower choices. Now Paul says, Don’t just avoid evil, hate evil. Don’t just choose good, embrace the good. Love the good. The battle of Christian living is a battle mainly to get our emotions changed, not just our behavior.
Which leads us to the third observation.
3. The Bible Commands That Our Emotions Be Changed Even Though We Don’t Have Immediate Control Over Them
You can’t make yourself immediately abhor what you like. But when Paul says, “Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good,” he is commanding our emotions to be one way and not another way. Don’t ever fall for the argument that God does not require that our emotions be one way and not another, as if God only has requirements for body or the will. God commands not only that we choose the good but that we love it, and not only that we choose against evil, but that we hate and abhor it.
But what if your heart is in such a condition that you love the evil and hate the good? How will you obey this command? The answer is that we must be born again. That which is merely born of the flesh loves the things of the flesh. That which is born of the Spirit loves the things of the Spirit (John 3:3-7; Romans 8:7-8; 1 Corinthians 2:14-16).
Or to use different biblical terms: the new covenant, purchased for us by the blood of Christ (Luke 22:20; 1 Corinthians 11:25), must be fulfilled in our lives, if our emotions are going to conform to God’s view of good and evil. Ezekiel 36:26, “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you.” God must give us a new heart if we are going to hate and love as we ought. The way we get for ourselves a new heart (Ezekiel 18:31) is by despairing of self-change and crying out for mercy from God in the name of Christ that he would take out the heart of stone. And when Christ has given us a new heart that begins to see the world the way he sees it and feel the way he feels it, we must go on fighting for daily transformation: “Beholding the glory of the Lord, [Jesus] we are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another” (2 Corinthians 3:18).
Christian living is not mere choosing. It is choosing with intensity: Abhor what is evil, embrace what is good.
4. Objective Moral Good Is Good for Us, and Objective Moral Evil Is Bad for Us
I see this mainly in the relationship between the two halves of this verse. First, verse 9 says, “Let love be genuine.” And then, without starting a new sentence (in the original Greek), it goes on to say, “abhorring what is evil; holding fast to what it good.” The link between the command to love and the command to abhor evil and embrace good is very close. It looks as if Paul is saying something essential about love.
Everyone agrees that love means, at least, doing things for people that are good for them, not bad for them. So when Paul says, “Let love be genuine, abhorring the evil and embracing the good,” I take him to mean that it will be loving thing to do if we abhor the evil and embrace the good. Which means that what God calls evil must be bad for people, and what God calls good must be good for people.
It’s not the other way around. We don’t decide what is good for people and what is bad for people and then define love that way. God decides what is good and what is bad and we follow that and call it love, because what God says is good is good for people, and what God says is bad is bad for people.
You can see this very clearly in 1 John 5:2. John writes, “By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments.” How do you know you are loving people? By loving God and keeping his commandments. His commandments are the expression of objective good. And his prohibitions are the expression of objective evil. And therefore objective evil is bad for people, and objective good is good for people.
But let’s be explicitly Christian. The ultimate objective good is the God-Man, Christ himself. He is our good. And so you can see most clearly that the ultimate objective good is good for us. Nothing is better for us than Christ. He is infinitely good and infinitely good for us. In him the good and the good-for-us become perfectly one. All other good things are good for us indirectly. They are good for us because they lead us to him. He alone is the good which is directly and supremely good for us.
Which leads us now to the fifth and last observation.
5. Genuine Love Must Hate
If there were a universe in which there was no evil that hurt people or dishonored Christ, there would be only love and no hate. There would be nothing to hate. But in a world like ours it is necessary not only that we love and hate, but that our love include hate.
Paul says, “Let love be genuine, abhorring what is evil.” One commentator calls this abhorring “an intense inward rejection.” It is rejection. It is inward. It is intense. And my point is that in this world love has to feel hate for evil. Since evil hurts people and dishonors God, you can’t claim to love people while coddling evil.
Don’t make the mistake of saying: the evil I cherish only hurts me, and so it is not unloving to others. That’s absolutely false (see 1 John 5:2 above). You were made to display the worth of Christ to others. That is what is good for them. That’s what it means to love them. But if you do things to yourself that damage your delight in Christ and your display of Christ, you sin against others and not just yourself. You rob them of what God made you to give them.
So I say again, love for others must hate evil. Because evil hurts others directly, and evil hurts others indirectly by hurting you. Evil obscures the beauty of Christ. And Christ is our greatest good. Our greatest joy.
As Christmas approaches and you think of gifts, remember one of the greatest gifts now and to the next generation is to believe and teach the simple, straightforward Word of God. “Abhor what is evil and hold fast to what is good.” Oh, what a world of precious truth there is in those words. And the sum of all truth and all good, and the triumph over all evil is Christ. So this advent season, hold fast to Christ, and abhor everything that dishonors him